We as parents sometimes have to find that ‘tude…you know the one, the “I am in your face because I love you” ‘tude.
Just a reminder that we must be open and frank with our teens. You nor they will regret it.
Here is an excerpt from a blog written by a teen on pornography…
“Pornography whether its images or written words that stir the imagination, it’s all a distortion. That’s not what Sex is, it’s not even what love is! Anything that is sexual sin is not “true” love. With the combination of a child’s natural curiosity and abuse as the spark that started the fire to what would have been my destruction, I began to get into pornography.” …”I didn’t even know what sex was! All I knew was it was a foreign word that I learned from 7th Heaven, and on that episode it was a big deal. And not too long after I learned that if I said “sex” the babysitters would squirm and get uncomfortable… which magically, sex became my favorite word to say! As all of this slowly unfolded my parents did not really fill me in too much, more than anything they put boundaries on what’s appropriate and what’s not.
Though I had seen those life altering images, I didn’t really want to see them again, but I didn’t really lose the taste for suggestive, pornographic, or “just on the edge” material. From late night infomercials, to online chat rooms, my interest began to grow. Each thing was a step further for “true” satisfaction and each step further became “not as big as the last” and “still not quite enough”. From reading material that I found in my own home that was meant for married couples, to heated stories online it just kept growing.
All was a distorted view of sex as if I was looking at a mural through broken glasses; the picture can’t be seen for what it really is because though you can see the mural through the glasses you’re not really seeing how it truly looks.
Through the broken glasses all you see is shame and hurt where sex is all about you (selfish) which just leads to more brokenness and emptiness.
True satisfaction, contentment, and wholeness are found only in Christ alone.”
From Amber M “Through Broken Glasses” http://www.xxxchurch.com/teens/
As you can see it’s not just our boys, but our girls too. It’s not just the computer or laptop at home. With more and more teens using iPhones and tablets that have internet capabilities supervision has gotten to be a full time affair. Even game systems like PS3 can be an open door. Check search and browser histories on a regular basis. Have a rule that you are the only one allowed to erase history. After all something erased is something to be hidden. Come up with rule and boundaries that work for your household, then stick to them. If they can not follow the rules, take the device away and have them earn it back. If the ground rules are established at the very time the internet begins getting used it will be so much easier. If you wait till there is a problem, well…the fight will be on! But I can not emphasize enough that the fight and time will be worth it. Our children deserve it!
Here are some surprising stats:
Americans aged 13 to 18 spend more than 72 hours a week using electronic media—defined as the Internet, cell phones, television, music and video games.
87% of all teens are online.
1 in 7 youths received sexual solicitation online.
Average age of first Internet exposure to pornography is 11 years old.
15-17 year olds having multiple hard-core exposures – 80%
8-16 year olds having viewed pornography online – 90% (most while doing homework).
7-17 year olds who would freely give out home address – 29%
7-17 year olds who would freely give out email address – 14%
Children’s character names linked to thousands of pornography links 26 (Including Pokemon and Action Man). Watch what your child gets when using search engines. What could start as an innocent search could become problematic.