A friend of mine was pretty upset the other day. It seems that she had asked for help with a yard sale. To say that it was going to a huge undertaking would be polite. Two households had joined forces and everything was in duplicate or triplicate. Not only did she need to decide what to keep, but also find places for the keepers. But most dreaded of all was the negotiation on the items to be sold with her partner. Her sister had offered graciously to help with the yard sale in anyway needed.
Well, a month went by and I found myself on a lunch date with my close friend and she began to express a lot of frustration over the state of her house. I totally understood where she was coming from, having been there before. I asked about the yard sale, as this would solve many of her complaints. She needed to declutter and declutter FAST.
“Well, you know, my sister was supposed to help with that.” She said with a huge sigh.
“Yeah, what happened?” I asked.
“She NEVER (bit of ‘tude in her tone) called, or came by. She offered to help, then I never heard back from her. She never followed thru on her offer. I don’t even know why she said she would help.”
I paused and gave some thought to what my next words were to be. I know her sister. She is a really giving person, genuine in all aspects. “Are you ready for a yard sale? Have you like set a date?” I asked, already knowing the answer. She had not began any of the planning that was needed. See she was holding her sister responsible for not taking charge of a house that was not hers to take charge of, of items that do not belong to her, and to schedule a sale for someone else at someone else’s property. I knew that all she needed to do was call her.
“Have you called her?” I asked softly.
“Nope. I shouldn’t have to. After all she’s the one that offered. Now I feel like no one will help. It really is just too much right now for me.”
Our conversation continued. Suddenly a light went on. It was so bright I am surprised she could not hear the “Ahhh HA!” that exclaimed from between my ears.
I changed the subject. I asked about the coupons you get on items at the store. You know, the ones that are stuck on to the item and are to be redeemed at check out. Inevitably it seems that I have a 50/50 chance making sure they get rung up. I could see the confusion written on her face. She had no idea why I had brought this up. Honestly, I wasn’t quite sure yet were I was going with this either.
So I asked her. “What would you say to me that I was going to boycott that laundry detergent that I love all because the coupon did not get used. After all, I feel ripped off! They made an offer, yet the offer never came to pass. “
Suddenly a grin appeared on my friends face. “It’s not their fault you did not redeem the coupon with the cashier.” She told me. She got it! Phew, I got it.
See her sister made the offer. But my friend never set a date or called her to “redeem” the offer. If help is needed, and help is offered, there is a final step in actually redeeming that offer. Needless to say a few days later a phone call got made she got the help she needed. She also was able to let go of misplaced hurt feelings. It was a win, win! Yay!